I know this may be an old thread, but sorry I just signed up for this forum today hehe.
To activate the DRLs, you have to buy the flasher relay. You have to purchase the DRL relay. The relay part number is 81980-35020 . There's a instruction list of how to install it. Once you have it installed, you should be good to go and it will work.
Ok I found the instruction list.
The relay it's self had a small clip in it. It slides into a holding clip behind the fuse juction box.
1) remove lower steering panel by removing two 10mm screws at the bottom of the panel on either side of the hood release. Unplug any/all connectors on left side of panel so the panel can rest down on the floor. No need to remove connector on right side of panel.
2) Remove metal shield behind the lower steering panel (two 10mm screws on either side of steering column).
3) Unplug all the fuses and relay that have wires attached to them as this will allow you to freely move the fuse box. (all plugs have "tab releases" on them, so make sure you push the tabs and don't force them).
4) Unscrew the fuse/junctionbox. (one 10mm screw and two 10mm nuts).
5) Turn the J/B towards you. There you will see a beige relay about 1.5" wide. That's the non DRL relay. Use a sharp pointed tool, like an awl, and push it under the relay from the left side to release the tab, then slide it out, it's tricky.
** The NON-DRL relay is smaller then the DRL relay. You will see the the lighting wires connect to a small wire harness, and that wire harness connects to the NON-DRL relay that is clipped on. you must remove the relay and the small harness.
6) Connect slide the new, bigger (2.5"), Black, DRL relay into the wiring harness and then onto the same clip the NON-DRL relay was on. Plug the connector in to the relay without the wire harness adapter. (You don't need it anymore)
7) Reverse for assembly
I bought my 4Runner w/o DRLs and now I have them installed, and had them for more than 2 years now. =) Completely happy with it.